You called me a bitch on the internet. On the internet.
You are exhausting. Seeing you is like dating a stair master.
You are probably going to be a very successful mechanic, but you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that, that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.
As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever, it would be a crime for it not to be shared.
The internet is not written in pencil. It’s written in ink. You published that Tori Gordon is a bitch. After you made some ignorant crack about the fact I am friends with a guy.
You write your snide remarks in a dark room because that’s what the angry do now days.
I was nice to you. Don’t torture me for it.
I don’t want a relationship. I want to make mistakes and have fun and flirt. I like being single to an extent. I like flirting, even though whenever anyone really likes me, I think they’re fucking insane. I still don’t understand WHY anyone would like me. I mean, yeah, I’m somewhat pretty, in the face area. However, Not beautiful anywhere else. I want to just be single and awkward and get hit on and feel wanted. I want to actually be a teenager for once. I don’t need sex, I have other means of that. I don’t want to have sex until I’m like FOR REAL in a relationship and I know they’re the one. Maybe even wait until marriage. But for now? I want companionship. I want to be able to have someone to go to to console me and care, but not be committed. I don’t want a committed relationship. I’m 18. I don’t want to settle down. I just want to be young,wild, and free. I want to find who I truly am. I like being weird and not being ashamed of it. I just want to be single, no commitment, just companionship. Nothing complicated. Just because I talk to you, doesn’t mean I’m yours. I want people to know this up front. Just because I talk to you does NOT mean I’m yours.
My mom is in bitch mode.
IM SO EFFIN SICK OF THIS PLACE.
I literally live a life that is wake up, get bitched at, get screamed at, get told what to do, get yelled at more, go to bed, repeat.
I’m so fucking sick of it.
I turn 18 in less than a week and I get treated like a 5 year old thats a piece of shit.
When the hell will I get some respect from anyone
Despite my grade in english right now. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I feel a complete amount taken off of my shoulders tonight. But in the past two months I’ve learned a lot about in my relationship sense of who I am.
I’m okay right now I think though.
I’m in so much pain right now.
I try to fix one thing and ruins literally everything in my life.
What is happieness?
What is family?
What is love?
What are friends?
I have nothing.
I want to sit down and write a song.
I’ve hit this point that I know is an all time low for me.
I won’t lie I have some people that would love to be with me.
I can’t tell you why.
But I can tell you..
When it comes to who I am… I’m questioning that a lot right now. When I say I have no one.. I mean that. I don’t know who my real friends are. I don’t know if anyone even actually cares about me.
The one person I felt comfortable with.. It’s been proven to me that I’m not as much as I thought I meant.
Because of that something has been wishing that a specific person somehow when I look outside my window would be standing there saying you know that I love you, I hope that takes away your pain. And something would cause me to go running and they’d hold me… because they know I would do the same. But that person… I don’t even know anymore.
Right now… I don’t think I know anyone. When I say I’m alone.. It means that I don’t have anyone I feel I can fall to and be okay. All I get are people that are infatuated with they way I put my heart on the line.. The way I’m open about how much I care about them. In the end, it’s nothing because it always backfires in my face.
I’m currently left struggling for the first time this school year in my classes, having really bad games at softball, arguing more with my parents and just lost.
I wish I had someone who really cared and wouldn’t just drop me because things either get hard or it seems like I’ve turned cold. 9 times out of 10 my being cold is because of my being lost and alone.
But lets be real.. No one is going to blame that stuff on something else and focus on either our friendship or relationship.. because I’m not, nor will I ever be enough for someone.
My ex boyfriendish thing is mentally insane.
He always freaked out on me over the littlest of things and couldn’t handle that I have other things in my life to focus on.
But right after we broke up I read in seventeen magazine all these signs that your boyfriend is crazy. It was literally an article about guys that have either killed or hit their girlfriends… And he showed several of the signs.
And he’s like a compulsive liar.
Now we just noticed he has his school listed as the Heath highschool in West Paducha KY. He goes to Heath high school in Heath Ohio… West Paducha had a school shooting in 1997…
I’m so sketched out..